Santa's Village of Madness [Rifftrax Review]

I was going to write a different blog tonight, but I decided to put that one back and write a bit about my own personal holiday tradition. Starting a few years ago I went and saw Rifftrax Live: Christmas Shorts-Stravaganza.

So every year I subject myself to a barrage of the worst holiday specials and shorts every created. These are so bad that at times not even the wonderful crew of Rifftrax / MST3K can save them. This year I picked up the new DVD of holiday shorts from Rifftrax called Christmas with Rifftrax Santa's Village of Madness.

2.5 out of 5

He did both Santa Claus and Santa's Village (of Madness).

Some of the most disturbing of all were directed by K. Gordon Murray, a man who was deeply disturbed on many levels. There is no other excuse for Santa's Village of Madness.

A shorts collection that makes no sense at all. Welcome to the disturbing world of K. Gordon Murray, a man who envisioned a Santa who was assisted in delivering presents via travel through the 5th dimension, a dimension invented by Merlin.

This man, this K. Gordon Murray, envisioned a Santa's Workshop overseen by the Big Bad Wolf (with an ulcer and dislocated jaw) who terrorizes a skunk and several children-elves (who seem to suffer from an acute form of PTSD and ADHD, or something). Meanwhile Puss-in-boots is head of security and best friends with the skunk. The Ice Cream Bunny makes a cameo...

Puss-n-boots, Big Bad Wolf, and the unexplainable Skunk.

Simply put, it is absolute nonsense.
No, I'm being nice. Nonsense is more sensible and stable than anything produced by K. Gordon Murray.

I've seen the worst of the worst movies of my generation and the generations that came before. Holiday movies are the worst of all films, and these are the worst of those. I've seen Santa Conquers the Martians, Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, Santa Claus, The Magic Christmas Tree,  and more holiday shorts than is recommended.

Santa's Village of Madness might be the worst of all of these. Even the Rifftrax mockery barely pulls up to watchable levels. It is just unbelievably bad. I put no star rating for the movie sans Rifftrax, because it deserves no rating. It is the first no stars out of five, I think I've ever given or possibly will give. Nothing should ever be that bad...

It frightens me that this place is real and was not simply a set.

Ghosthouse was positively well made in comparison.

I love Rifftrax, I love MST3K, they make bad movies hilarious and palatable. This one was a tough job for even the crew of Rifftrax. It was DOA. Even their humor could barely make it passable.

Thankfully there are bonus shorts from the Encyclopedia Britannica that are included on the DVD. They are also nonsense, but at least they are funny. Truth be told, if you asked me what the shorts were about, I could not tell you. They didn't seem to have any meaning or purpose - well at least nothing beyond using up excess film stock that is.

I'm not going to tell you to buy it, I'm not going to tell you to not. I will just say this, I have added yet another bad DVD to my holiday traditions.