Master of Martial Hearts [Anime Review]

There are some anime that even I am embarrassed to admit I watched.
Elfen Leid was one of those.
This is another.

This is the height of plot in this anime...

I am not embarrassed to say I watched a prurient anime. Those, I've seen lots of those, are not embarrassing to me. Some are fun, some are pathetic, some are actually good. It's a grab bag. This one was just bad in all ways.

1 out of 5 stars

Let's do a tally of everything wrong and bad in this anime.

Well, at least there are cat maids.

1.) The animation is actually worse than what you find in most hentai anime. No, seriously, I've seen better animated webisodes... or low budget hentai that were better animated. This must have been produced on the thinnest of shoe-string budgets. For a series made in the late 2000s (08 & 09), that is a crime... especially for an OVA.

Clothes do not do that!

2.) Clothes do not do that (See side image)! This is taking an anime trope, Clothing Damage, and cranking it past 11. The freaking knobs shatters they turn this to stupid-crazy levels. And it is not a good thing. It becomes ludicrously stupid. It is bad enough in normal levels of anime. This was just stupid. 

3.) The ending is so brutally imbecilic that you begin to wonder if it was actually written by an adult. It comes off as the insane troll logic that a you expect to spew from the mouth of a elementary school kid. This ending is so bad that it actually does a full Gainax Ending. It is a text book example of Complexity Addiction, coupled with an Info Dump all leading directly to a Gambit Pile Up.Yes, I had fun on TV Tropes today. I needed the technical terms to explain just how bad this series is.


But you know what. It gets worse.

4.) I can only begin to adequately describe how despicable this series actually gets. It is nothing more than double crossing, betrayal, back stabbing, revenge, and murdering. Actually those traits are just the tip of this pile of horse hockey. You see, it gets even worse. I'm spoiling the series, but honestly... I don't care. I watched it so you don't have to. You see... every girl that loses in the Platonic Heart Tournament (see Not Just a Tournament) ends up being brainwashed into a sex slave and sold. I mean the series was bad, but just when you thought it had hit rock bottom they found a pick-axe and dug deeper.   

I'm sorry I watched this, but at least I've spared you the pain.
Do Not Watch This Series. 
There is nothing redeeming in it.

I think that this series actually represents the worst anime I've seen to date. I may have seen some other bad ones, but right now they are distant memories. The pain from them has faded. This is fresh and raw in my mind. I will never forgive this series for taking away those precious 150 minutes of my life.

Again, for the love of anime, do not watch this series.
All it is, is pain.

This series does not deserve figures.