Battleship (2012) [Movie Review]

I did not see this movie in theaters.
I did not buy this movie.
I watched a friend's copy.
I felt the need to explain before continuing this review...

This seems to be a different game than the one I am familiar with.

What did I just watch?
Ok. Let me break it down.
Is it an action movie? Yes.
Is it science fiction? Yes.
Is it a comedy? ... Yes, but was it intentionally written as a comedy?
Good question.

2.5 out of 5 stars

I do not know if that rating is me being too nice or being too mean. That probably means that it is spot on.

The films only Battleship. Arrives at the 1hr45min mark.

It all ties in to my problem with the films comedy.
If I knew for certain that the comedy was intentional, then I'd rate it up... and if I knew it was accidental I'd drop it a half star. As it stands, it just confused me.

Let me cover another aspect of this movie.

Dear Hasbro. You went and did it.
You shoe-horned a grid into the movie. Apologize!

It had no star power.
The director, when he was interviewed, did not initially understand the draw power of Will Smith when he directed Hancock. He admitted this.

So... yeah. The aliens fire PEGs at the humans... yeah...

Battleship had one real star, Liam Neesan, and he was in a rather minor role. You really can't bank on that limited role to be a big box office draw. Oh, and Peter MacNicol in a smaller role than Liam.

The movie went out of its way to abuse (not use) the board game imagery / mechanics. They made sure that there was a situation where the aliens and the humans could not see each other... then suddenly they use a bunch of NOAA beacons to create a grid. That is not the end of it by a long shot. No. The aliens do not use lasers or beam weapons or railcannons... nothing really high tech. Nope they fire arcing mortar shells that not so much resemble 'pegs' as they are 'pegs.' They always impact small point down, pause, then explode. So, yeah... the aliens fire 'peg' cannons.

There's honestly not much more to sat beyond "Chicken Burrito."

Watch it if you want to, or not. It's pretty mindless, but not boring.