Miami Connection: Rifftrax Live Fathom Event (Rifftrax Event)

I love The Crappening. So far the three movies I've seen have been very hilarious. I'll be honest, I'm not sure I'll be able to go and see the new version of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. That movie is just creepy.

"Against the Ninja!"

True statement.

After watching The Room, and Sharknado 2: The Second One I was prepared to have a good time.

I was not disappointed by Miami Connection. This 80's B-movie martial arts and hair music fest is actually not a truly terrible movie on its own. It is by no means a good movie, but it is not terrible. It is actually somewhat sort of watchable.

And the music is kinda not terrible either.

5 out of 5 stars.

'Dragon Sound,' also artisanal brick shorteners.

"Oh My God!"

This was a Rifftrax Live Event, which means the movie was proceeded by a very disturbing short called the Measurement Man... I think. You see this child who must be in the 4th or 5th grade does not understand how anything is measured. He does know about rulers, or pounds, or cups, or any kind of standardized measurement. I can only assume he is the reason we do not use SI (System of International Units). This short is very funny because of the 'super hero,' the titular Measurement Man. He is highly inappropriate, what with all of his tools hanging very near his spandex enshrouded crotch. I still do not know what the giant sparkly elongated cylinder was for (in measurement terms). It was a funny, uncomfortable little short.

Always fear the Tae Kwon Do Master Y.K. Kim when he
hides in bushes somewhere near / in Orlando.

Right out of the door the Riffers, Mike, Kevin, and Bill, announced that in Orlando the riffing would be viewed by none other than Y.K. Kim himself. Kim is a massive Tae Kwon Do icon with many dojo's around Florida. Miami Connection was made on a small budget and panned badly when it first opened. Rediscovered in 2009 by the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema it became an instant cult classic.

I felt the movie needed a historical backdrop.

This is Y.K. Kim as he prepares to watch the Rifftrax Live
riffing of Miami Connection. Image from Orlando Sentinel.

It is not a terrible movie, nor is it great. It has a story, albeit a rather weak one. It has action; some very silly, some not too bad. It has some moments of acting, and some moments where the lines were delivered so badly you cringe a little. There are some glaring plot holes, and parts that just needed a little scene to link two other scenes. A few small patches, or edits, would have made this film a lot better.

But with all of that, Miami Connection is a movie that I could have watched without Rifftrax and been okay. With Rifftrax it was so much better.

So much better.

It is an unbelievably funny Riffing. I am not certain it is quite up to The Room's level of riff, but it is right there. I was howling. Not as loudly as the lady behind me, but I was slapping my knees and laughing the entire film. I even laughed at the Sharapova joke, which did not seem to go over too well. Guess there were not a lot of Tennis fans in the audience. (To be fair the joke was at Maria Sharapova's expense, but I laughed and I am a fan of hers. Not that that means much.)

I also caught myself tapping my feet along to the 80's tunes sung by Dragon Sound, the film's Tae Kwon Do heroic band thing. The lyrics are not brilliant, but the tunes are adequately 80s. You can listen below, I've linked to several sources. (And for inspiration on this review, I've been playing Dragon Sound while writing... yeah.)

But to the person in front of me eating cinema pickles. You stunk. I mean the odor of pickle was just so powerful. Please stop eating cinema pickles. The hotdogs are questionable enough as 'food.' The pickles have got to be a crime against your stomach (and my nose). I cannot choose between the heehaw lady or the pickle person, all I know is that one of them was the worst thing about the movie, and the other was the second worse.

I urge you, if you did not catch the live showing, to see it next Tuesday at your local theater. It will be the encore showing, and it is worth it! 

Dragon Sound: Friends and Against the Ninja.
Click to listen to them. [For a video of Against the Ninja, click here!]