Helix - Season Premiere [TV review]

I've yet to do this, write a review for the premiere of a television show.
When I first heard of Helix, connected to Ronald D. Moore (Battlestar Galactica), I was actually quite thrilled. He produced BSG, an excellent show, so I began with high hopes. Were they justified?

Short answer: No. 
I should have looked at who else was on the production staff: Steven Maeda who did X-Files, CSI: Miami, and Lost (good, meh, ugh), and Lynda Obst who did Contact (terrible movie). That's a dubious pair, only one really good show, and of course you can see the similarities between Helix and X-Files very fast - black blood / oil anyone?

2.5 out of 5.

Mind Blowing? Not really.

 The warning signs began swirling around the show before it even aired. I began to see the tag-lines. The little one liners used to sell the show... and they were the most banal cliches I've seen in years.

"Play God. Pay the price."
and one I heard just before the show,
"Your breaking all the laws of nature!"

Those are the big warning signs. They are nothing new, and just like every time they've been used before they are wrong and stupid. The first one is just so hyperbolic and anti-science paranoia that it actually makes me grind my teeth a bit. The second one is just stupid. There is no way they are breaking the laws of nature, they might be using the natural laws to mess with nature, but they are certainly not breaking them. Breaking a natural law would actually be something impressive.

Above the 83rd parallel. Kinda cool.

 The very beginning of the episode was actually good. We're given a historical look at one of the early epidemics of cholera, and how it was solved. It's pretty cool history actually. I was tentatively excited.

It would not last.

I am and always will be the Rocket Man.

The face palm worthy scenes would begin in just a few minutes. I'm talking about scenes were a CDC agent just decides to take off her helmet because someone said the disease was not airborne. Yes, maybe, but amazingly the disease could become an aerosol, or travel in water droplets, or in any variety of other ways. The suits protect you from a variety of infectious vectors... but heck, this is TV.

Filthy bags of mostly water... made of liquified organs.

Lets not forget that right out the gate we have a love triangle mess. We have our hero, his young and perky lab assistant, and his ex-wife. But you see the ex probably still has feelings for him... but consoles / encourages the perky assistant. Whatever. Also, our hero's ex slept with his brother causing the divorce. The hero's brother is of course the main victim of the disease, well the only one who is still alive. There are probably some tropes here... I'm not looking them up, I'd get lost in TV Tropes.

I'll not be entirely down on the show. But the face palm worthy issues don't stop there. They spend a good chunk of time crawling in the ventilation ducts, because as we know, the solution is always in the jefferies tubes. And of course, dead bodies always appear in the ventilation ducts. Frustration!

There were a few good scenes. There were a lot of stupid scenes.
I really like the field of frozen monkey's, that was awesome.
I really hate the minor characters that are so self-centered they would doom everyone else. I honestly cannot wrap my head around such vile and loathsome self-obsession.

I do not know where this show is going. The next episode preview looks completely different, all military less contagion-y. I do believe that Jerry Ryan will be in it though, and 7 of 9 continues the trend of R. Moore using imposing blondes.

The worst part is that I'll likely continue for a few more episodes. There were some good scenes, but they were not consistent... I can only hope that the bad goes away and the good increases. Right now Helix is just 'meh.'


I have until June before Defiance returns... and I still need to see season three of Falling Skies.

Update: I'm continuing my review of this series as I see fit. Currently the episode Single Strand has also been reviewed.
Update 2: Continuing my reviews: The White Room.
Update 3: Added reviews for Aniqatiga and Survivor Zero.
 

He died eating a lump of coal.